I have written previously about the relationship I have with my mum, but there have been a few things that have happened over the past couple of days that have made me wonder if it’s time for me to cut everything off with her.
I have a little brother, well he just turned 19 this week. He’s been brought up seeing our mum lie, deceive and manipulate her way in and out of things more times than I care to remember. He messaged me the other day and asked if we could Skype as he needed to talk to me about stuff. He told me mum owes thousands of dollars on her phone/cable bill, there’s no food in the house, he has no money and needs to get out and get himself sorted before yet another eviction notice lands on the doorstop.
This is how he has grown up. He’s even forged signatures for her when he was as young as 8! He didn’t have a choice, our mum told him to do it. In her desperation to have Internet, it’s come to light that she’s used his name to get a new cable/phone account. She’s doing to him what she did to me numerous times.
I see this young man, who didn’t finish high school partially down to his on laziness but also down to her because she couldn’t be bothered to attempt to get him up or make him lunch. I know this to be true, because I remember going back as far as primary school that we would stay home ‘sick’ because she wanted to sleep. I have a very clear memory of her sleeping in her bed, and my other brother and I watching cartoons and eating cereal out of a box. She would get up and see my dad off to work, but as soon as the car pulled away she’d be back upstairs.
Anyways I digress, my baby brother suffers from anxiety issues which I think a lot stems from the (lack) of upbringing he had, and I think it’s dawned on him with a matter of urgency that she is beyond help. She’s 60, she’s already created her destiny and has nothing to show for it. He can still change things, it’s not too late for him. We’re going to help as much as we can from here, my brother is helping him and my ex-boyfriend who’s known my brother since he was a baby is being an immense support to him.
As for my relationship with her, right now at this very moment it’s making me feel sick to my stomach. What kind of parent does this? I’m getting to the point I think it’s getting time to cut ties.