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My son is an only child, okay?
Ever since the boy was born nearly 5 years ago(time flies), I have lost count the amount of time people have asked me when we’re going to try for another baby. Why can’t it just happen naturally, why do I have to try? Incidentally, I had a miscarriage two and a half years ago, so, it did happen thank you very much, but sadly not meant to be.
People assume, that I would naturally want to keep having a go at it and give the boy a baby brother or sister. And the truth is I’m not sure I even want to.
I like our unit of 3. The boy is happy, he wants for nothing and perhaps this may come across as being selfish, we have a nice life, go on a couple holidays a year and I can go out whenever I like as does the hub(we take turns to look after the boy).
If I had a pound everytime someone said ‘oh I’m sure the boy would love a baby brother or sister’ I’d be a squillionaire by now. If you ask the boy, he’s just not interested, he’d rather play with the dog.
The boy did not sleep through the night until he was over 2, and those were the most exhausting, draining two years of my life. We have no family nearby, so we couldn’t pawn him off on the grandparents. It also didn’t help that the hub was travelling back and forth to Italy every 2 weeks for the first year.
I know people say, ‘you’ll be fine, you know what not to do 2nd time around’, but I’m just not sure I’m prepared to find out.
What really tipped me over the edge, was last night when an acquaintance asked me when I was going to have another baby. I snapped. Why do I have to have another baby? Shouldn’t I just be happy what I have? Some people can’t have any! Then she said that the hub and I should just f**k until I get pregnant. For one it’s none of her business and two our sex life is non existent. So there.
All I want is for people to respect our decision to stick with just one child. I’m not 100% ruling out anymore, but please don’t tell me my child will be deprived out of not having any siblings. I have enough catholic guilt, ta v much!
Be grateful for what you have.
When people ask in future, you should reply, ‘Yes I’m going to have 12 more and eventually sell them on ebay’ or ‘No I’d rather stick pins in my labia, I actually hate children’ or something else that stops them dead in their nosy, assuming, judgemental tracks. I like my unit of 3 too, and am not sure I’ll have another. Way I look at it, we’re lucky to have one!
I’ll have to use the ‘I’d rather stuck pins in my labia’ excuse more often!
Of course it’s ok to have just one! Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do… And it’s not really something you have to justify to anyone else. X
I just wish people would mind their business! It’s the same thing that happens when you get married, people automatically assume you’re going to start breeding before the ink on the marriage certificate is dry! We waited 5 yrs before having the boy and again people, well family members assumed that we were physically challenged in that department!
Perhaps more people would be happy if they thought the same way you do!
Those of us who are genuinely happy with their lot are looked upon as being a little “weird”, I always feel.
MMmmmm be happy to make your life the best it can be NOW, in the present, today. OR moan, stress and strive for what may or may not happen tomorrow?
I know which person I’d rather be.
Live for today…as if there will be no tomorrow!
I think we should all be grateful for what we have. This is my choice, I’m thankful for having a choice. Some people aren’t given the choice. Enjoy the life we’re given as we only have one!
We’re only given one life. We need to be thankful for what we have!
I’m an only child and hubby is sort of — has half sister 11 years younger…currently we have only one and our story seems very similar — the first few years were hard and with the move over here I am finally starting to settle and think about the possibility of another but like you said, life is pretty nice with one. I actually have two friends that only have one and are seriously thinking of keeping it at that…we are a very rare breed tho…don’t you think?
How many people do you know with just one?
I think we are a rare breed. We, as in society is conditioned that we ‘must’ have more than 1 child. And if you don’t well me certainly, have felt ostracised for not doing so.
My cousin back in Canada only had one child, and they are more than happy.
I’m not 100% averse to having another, but if I do I want to do it on my terms. And if I don’t that’s ok too. It’s good to know that there are others out there that are in a similar position. My circle of friends all have 2 + kids so it’s at times difficult to explain why I only still have one.
I had 3 in 3 years….well, actually, 4. I miscarried aswell between 1 and 2 (a whole other story). I was devastated. However we went on to have more and more lol and I’m not sure we’re happier for it. Don’t get me wrong I love my family more than life itself but we don’t get 2 hols a year, don’t go out, and are permanently exhausted.
And I agree with everyone else. Fuck them! How dare they ask! no-one knows what or why when it comes to fertility and it’s a painful thing.
Great blog
love ya!